Food allergies are often misunderstood and stigmatized. The experience of living with food allergies in adulthood is challenging; even if you have been navigating your diagnosis since childhood. For many, it can be traumatic. Events like dinners with friends, work lunches with colleagues, and dating can quickly turn from joyful to anxiety-provoking. Your fears may often be dismissed by people who just do not understand the severity of this life-threatening medical condition, furthering the anxiety that you experience.
Perhaps when you were a child, your parents advocated for you – ensuring that no allergens were in your food when you went out to eat at restaurants for family meals. However, as an adult, that responsibility now lies fully on you. It can be scary, and overwhelming at times. However, through building your confidence and communication skills, you can thrive as an empowered self-advocate.
1. Gain an Understanding of Food Allergies
Education is integral in being a strong self-advocate, and open conversations with your doctor are vital in that process. Attend doctors’ appointments prepared with questions, and write down all of the important information shared with you about your results. Consider inviting a support person with you to attend appointments. With full knowledge and understanding of your food allergies, you can communicate facts confidently, and set necessary boundaries to reduce your distress and support your safety. Websites like foodallergy.org can be a great resource for education, and finding support groups for adults with food allergies.
2. Use Empowered Communication
As an adult living with food allergies, there will be many times where you are asked questions that might bring up discomfort. For example, taking a client out to lunch for a business meeting and navigating the strange looks that come along with the question – why aren’t you eating?
You may notice yourself shutting down in these moments. Perhaps it brings you discomfort to discuss your medical history with a colleague or acquaintance. However, as your own self-advocate, empowered communication skills are necessary. Now, that doesn’t mean that you need to share more information than you feel comfortable with either!
I suggest coming up with an “elevator pitch” answer for these questions, which gives as much information as you are comfortable sharing. For example, “due to my food allergies, I prefer not to eat out.” Then, intentionally navigate the conversation in another direction. For example, “ I love the ambiance of this restaurant and I am so happy to be here to discuss this project with you. What have you been thinking so far?”
Practice your food allergy elevator pitch in the mirror, or with a supportive person. This is a natural part of giving your body the skills to navigate a situation that might send your system into a high stress reaction. The more you practice, the less you will have to remember when the moment comes. Plus, you will develop an arsenal of elevator pitches to pull from whenever needed.
Empowered communication means feeling confident in sharing your medical information in small ways when necessary to protect yourself. It also means setting boundaries, and only answering questions that are within your comfort. Your information is yours to share as you please, and as you see fit!
3. Invest In Allergy Cards
Business cards, but for food allergies!
A great way for you to introduce yourself at the restaurant, and share your needs in a succinct way that they can reference throughout your time at the restaurant. Invest in having allergy cards made for yourself. Write your name, your specific food allergy needs and dietary restrictions on the card. Hand it to your waiter, and use it as a reference point for conversations about your food allergy safety at their food establishment! If you are a traveler, make multiple versions of the card in different languages. If you are crafty, laminate it for longevity.
4. Identify And Communicate Your Boundaries Around Intimate Interactions
As an adult with food allergies, your anxiety surrounding food may impact your intimate relationships. From dating challenges like choosing the restaurant, to worrying about kissing a partner after they have eaten. When dating and navigating intimate relationships, it is important to identify your specific needs and communicate them to your partner(s).
If you are actively dating, I encourage you to write on your dating profile that you have food allergies if it is within your comfort. This will immediately deter any potential dating partners who would likely be less supportive of your needs. In dating and intimate relationships, a partner who supports your food allergy needs is a non-negotiable. If you do not feel comfortable kissing after your partner has eaten an allergen, communicate that boundary – a supportive partner will be happy to accommodate. Trusting that your partner(s) respects your boundaries is integral to ensure that you feel safe in all sexual interactions. Conversations around allergies are integral when considering intimate lotions, lubrications, and protection options; as some can contain allergens like latex or tree nuts.
5. Feel Empowered To Bring Your Own Food When Needed
Food is an important part of culture for many individuals. Often when you cannot partake in eating at important social or cultural events, it can feel isolating. But, what if you brought your own allergen free foods to enjoy at events, and freed yourself from worrying about the judgments of others?
There will be times when a restaurant or event can support your needs. There will be others where they can not. Perhaps you found yourself wanting to attend a celebration, but feel uncomfortable eating there. In these times, bring your own food!
Pack food that you enjoy, that brings you comfort or makes you feel good. Pack food that connects to your cultural background as a conversation starter. Or, maybe you want to try a new allergy-safe food from the culture of the event you are attending. After practicing your empowered communication skills, you may even find yourself enjoying conversation about your unique meal!
Food Allergies and Anxiety in NJ
Food allergies do not need to hold you back from living a joyful life. If you notice that you are continuing to struggle with anxiety around your food allergies after practicing these skills, a food allergy anxiety specialist can help. At Brave Minds, we understand the unique challenges that come along with the experience of living with food allergies. Our food allergy anxiety specialists utilize evidence-based techniques like EMDR and CBT to assist in reducing distress. Call for a free phone consultation to learn more about how working with a food allergy anxiety specialist can help you thrive!
A therapist in Scotch Plains NJ Can Help Manage Food Allergies and Anxiety
Living with food allergies as an adult means constantly navigating challenging situations, from business lunches to intimate relationships. The anxiety and stress of managing your allergies can feel overwhelming at times, leaving you isolated or unsure how to advocate for yourself.
Don’t let food allergy anxiety control your life. Follow these simple steps to start your journey toward empowered self-advocacy:
- Reach out for a free phone consultation with our food allergy anxiety specialists
- Get matched with a therapist who understands your specific concerns
- Begin building the confidence and communication skills you need to thrive!
Call Brave Minds Psychological Services at 908-224-7727 today and discover how therapy can help you navigate life with food allergies more joyfully and confidently.
Beyond Individual Support: How Brave Minds Helps With Food Allergy Advocacy
At Brave Minds Psychological Services, we recognize that food allergies affect not just individuals but their relationships too. Our couples counseling helps partners develop a unified approach to food allergy management, teaching non-allergic partners how to become allies in advocacy and emergency preparedness. Similarly, our family therapy services create a supportive framework where every family member understands their role in food allergy management. We help families develop protocols for dining out, hosting gatherings, and navigating social events while empowering allergic individuals to voice their needs confidently within their family unit first, building the foundation for broader self-advocacy.