Therapy That Honors How You Think, Feel, and Experience the World
Life feels more difficult for you than it does others. You see people around you, your peers and even family members, setting goals, reaching them, and doing so with ease. But everyday tasks and situations often feel like a challenge. Relationships are complex and hard to navigate when there are so many unspoken rules that don’t come naturally to you. The workplace is a constant struggle with trying to fit into the mold of what is considered “normal.” And if you’re a parent, parenting can be difficult when most advice doesn’t apply to you and your child’s unique needs.
You Shouldn’t Have to Change Yourself to Fit into a World that Wasn’t Designed For You.
You might have gone to therapy, but instead of being heard, you found yourself explaining your identity and experiences. As a result, you left feeling misunderstood and depleted. It’s not your job to educate others, but it can be exhausting when advocating for yourself and your loved ones. You may have been told to change yourself, or that your child needs to change, in order to fit into a world that wasn’t designed for you. But the truth is, you’re not the problem, it’s the system that needs to change.
Perhaps you started to suspect that you are neurodivergent once your child or friend received a diagnosis. You recognize the same struggles in your own life but are unsure where to go from there. Maybe you sought therapy, only to feel misdiagnosed. The criteria might not fully reflect your experiences. Feeling understood, heard, and validated should not be a luxury, it should be a standard for everyone. That’s why at Brave Minds Psychological Services, we offer affirming therapy for neurodivergent adults.
What is Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy?
Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy offers a compassionate and inclusive approach that celebrates all neurotypes and values individuality. This therapy creates a safe, welcoming space rooted in anti-racism, LGBTQIA+ affirmation, and sex positivity. It respects and honors all forms of communication, avoiding assumptions or pressures, like forcing eye contact or misinterpreting discomfort. Instead, it acknowledges the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals, such as Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) and Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA), also known as Pathological Demand Avoidance. Through open and validating conversations, this approach supports you in navigating how these experiences shape your daily life.
Trauma is a common experience for many neurodivergent individuals, and this therapy is designed with your unique needs in mind. Using trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, you can work through and ease trauma symptoms in a way that feels safe and supportive. Neurodiversity-affirming therapy also incorporates techniques like CBT and DBT to help you develop practical strategies for navigating challenges. The focus is on empowering you in a validating environment that respects and honoring the validity of your neurodivergent experiences.
What is a Neurodivergent Affirming Approach?
The neurodiversity-affirming approach is all about recognizing and respecting your true identity. It goes beyond solving problems. In this space, your experiences are valued, your strengths are supported, and your goals are shaped by what truly matters to you. Your special interests and passions matter. We support them as tools for growth. They help with self-care, boost creativity, and build meaningful connections. Therapy helps us discover freedom. It allows us to unmask ourselves through art, music, movement, and other passions. It fosters confidence, authenticity, and self-compassion.
This approach upholds that you are the expert on your life, and the therapeutic process is collaborative. It is designed to uncover strategies and rituals that feel empowering and supportive. Neurodiversity-affirming therapy supporting you to tackle your trauma, with respect. It also guides you to explore your neurotype with compassion, benefiting every part of your life. It does so while fully honoring your identity and cultivating self-love. This therapy adapts to you as you learn and reflect. It encourages you to live authentically, filling you with confidence and hope for what lies ahead.
Want to Better Understand Neurodiversity?
Curious about neurodiversity or wondering if you or someone you know might be neurodivergent? Understanding neurodiversity is a great step toward creating a more inclusive and accepting mindset. Let’s dive into some common questions about neurodivergence and how affirming neurodivergent therapy can make a difference.
Why is Being Neurodivergent so Hard?
Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world is exhausting. It’s like trying to fit into a system that wasn’t made for you. You’re constantly judged by standards that don’t match how your brain works, which feels unfair. This disconnect can leave you feeling isolated, misunderstood, and anxious. But it’s not just about how others see you, there are internal struggles too. Everyday tasks can feel overwhelming, whether it’s managing executive functioning, social interactions, emotional regulation, or sensory processing. It’s a daily battle to navigate a world that doesn’t quite get you or make room for your needs.
Being a neurodivergent adult comes with unique challenges. Balancing work, relationships, and daily life can feel overwhelming, especially when things like organization and prioritization don’t come naturally. That’s where neurodivergent-affirming therapy steps in. It’s a judgment-free space where you don’t have to explain or mask who you are. Instead, it’s about embracing your needs and finding what works for you. A therapist who truly understands neurodiversity can help you develop practical strategies and build skills to navigate life with confidence.
What is Neurodivergent Burnout in Adults?
Neurodivergent burnout is a state of extreme exhaustion that goes beyond just feeling tired, it affects both your mind and body. It often brings emotional overwhelm, intense fatigue, and sensitivity to sensory input. Every day tasks, like managing hygiene or keeping a routine, might feel impossible. Burnout can also make it harder to focus, stay organized, or complete tasks you once handled well.
Burnout isn’t a failure; it’s your body’s way of responding to long-term stress. Masking your traits, dealing with overload, and lacking support all take a toll. Recovery begins with slowing down, showing yourself kindness, and reducing the pressure to perform. A neurodivergent-affirming therapist can help you create coping strategies and routines that actually work for you. And remember, burnout doesn’t last forever. With support and care, you can recover and feel more like yourself again.
Do Neurodivergent People Struggle with Change?
Change and transitions can be extremely difficult for neurodivergent individuals. This is a valid and understandable struggle because neurodivergent brains like predictability and routine. Though it can be challenging, sticking to a routine or schedule can help neurodivergent individuals feel more in control, reducing anxiety and stress. For Autistic adults, in particular, a strong preference for routine and predictability means that disruptions to familiar patterns can feel overwhelming. Executive functioning challenges can add another layer of difficulty, making it harder to adapt to last-minute changes or plan for the unexpected.
Sensory sensitivities can add a whole layer of stress, making even small changes feel overwhelming. The key is to approach these challenges with compassion and focus on creating strategies to make transitions smoother. It’s okay to need extra time or support during changes. It’s not a failure, it just means you’re human, doing your best to navigate your own path.
What are Neurodivergent Coping Strategies for Adults?
At Brave Minds Psychological Services, our therapists for neurodivergent adults understand Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA) and the deep need for autonomy it involves. We know there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, coping strategies need to be as unique as you are. If someone suggests deep breathing but that feels like just another demand, it’s okay to say, “Nope, not for me!” Coping shouldn’t feel like a chore, it should feel empowering and even a little exciting.
That’s where tailoring strategies to your special interests can make all the difference. Whether it’s mindfulness techniques that tap into your love of a specific hobby or movement-based activities that feel like an extension of your joy, the goal is to find approaches that feel natural and engaging for you. A therapist for neurodivergent adults, autism therapist, or ADHD therapist can guide you through exploring these options collaboratively, ensuring strategies meet both your needs and your desire for autonomy.
Late in Life Diagnosis for Neurodivergent Adults
Around 15-20% of the global population is neurodivergent, and the NIH estimates that 1 in 45 adults are autistic. But these numbers might actually be higher because so many people aren’t diagnosed until later in life. Why? Outdated diagnostic methods and societal stereotypes often get in the way. This can be especially challenging for BIPOC individuals, the LGBTQIA+ community, and women. A late diagnosis can feel confusing and frustrating. You might go through life sensing something is different, without having the language to describe it. It may leave you without the support, understanding, or validation you’ve needed. But getting diagnosed later isn’t your fault. You’ve always been neurodivergent, society, systems, and diagnostic tools just hadn’t caught up yet.
It’s super common to get misdiagnosed a few times before landing on the right answer, especially for neurodivergent people. Many parents only recognize their own neurodivergent traits after their child gets diagnosed, you begin to recognize your own neurodiversity. Things like Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA), or differences in communication, eye contact, and sensory processing are often misunderstood or brushed aside. Combine that with the constant push to fit neurotypical norms, like forcing eye contact, and it’s no surprise so many people burn out from masking just to get by.
Stigma in Therapy Can Make It So Much Harder.
Therapists who don’t understand neurodiversity or neurodivergence can end up reinforcing harmful stereotypes. Mislabeling neurodivergent traits as “problems,” ignoring sensory needs, or reducing sexuality to hypersexuality can feel invalidating, or even traumatic. It’s a journey, and it takes time, but an accurate diagnosis or affirming neurotype exploration journey with your therapist can be life-changing. It helps you understand yourself and live more authentically. This is why affirming neurodivergent therapy is important.
It acknowledges and celebrates the diverse ways our brains work, instead of pathologizing them. As a neurodivergent person, it can be incredibly validating to have a therapist who understands and accepts your brain’s unique wiring. This type of therapy focuses on building strengths and finding accommodations instead of trying to “fix” or “cure” neurodivergence. You no longer have to feel like you’re an alien in a neurotypical world. Instead, you can embrace your differences and learn how to thrive in a society that may not always understand or accommodate your needs.
PDA, RSD, and Other Common Neurodivergent Experiences
Having a better understanding of your neurodiversity and own neurodivergent experience can be empowering and validating. It can also help you find support and strategies that are tailored to your specific needs. While each individual’s experience is unique, there are some common experiences that many neurodivergent individuals share. Here are some frequently asked questions about common neurodivergent experiences:
What is Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA)?
Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA), also known as Pathological Demand Avoidance, is a term used to describe a common experience among neurodivergent individuals where demand avoidance becomes a distinct and consistent pattern of behavior.
This can look like:
- Resisting tasks or demands, even those that seem simple or routine to others
- Delaying action on responsibilities, despite knowing they’re important
- Entirely avoiding certain tasks to protect a sense of autonomy
- Withdrawing or shutting down when feeling overwhelmed by expectations
- Refusing to comply, not out of defiance, but out of a need to regain control
It’s important to understand that this isn’t about laziness, a lack of motivation, or even rudeness; it’s a deeply rooted response tied to the individual’s need to maintain a sense of control. When these behaviors are misunderstood or labeled negatively, it can lead to feelings of shame, heightened anxiety, or burnout. By approaching this experience with compassion and curiosity, you can begin to see the importance of supporting autonomy and finding ways to collaborate that feel safe for the individual.
What are the Examples of Demand Avoidance?
Demand avoidance can show up in many different ways, and it’s more common than you might think. It often feels deeply frustrating or confusing, both for the person experiencing it and for those around them. For example, you might:
- Struggle to pick up the phone to make a therapy or medical appointment, even though you know it’s important
- Feel overwhelmed by a simple request, like picking up laundry, and start avoiding it completely
- Ignore tasks for days or weeks as quiet frustration builds
- Put off work assignments or fall behind on chores, even when you care about the outcome
These moments aren’t about laziness or lack of motivation, they’re rooted in how your brain and body react to perceived demands. It’s okay to feel this way. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward understanding them and finding compassionate strategies to manage them. Affirming neurodivergent therapy can help by embracing your unique wiring and helping you find tools that work for you.
Can You Grow Out of Pathological Demand Avoidance?
Though pathological demand avoidance may always be a part of your neurodivergent experience, there are ways to adapt and support yourself in navigating these challenges. It’s important to understand that you’re not alone. Many late-identified neurodivergent adults notice an increase in these feelings as life becomes more demanding with responsibilities like work or parenting. Strategies like body doubling, where someone works alongside you, or combining activities, like dancing while doing chores, can make tasks more manageable and even enjoyable.
A therapist who understands neurodivergence, such as a therapist for neurodivergent adults, can help you find personalized coping strategies that work for you. By focusing on your strengths, they’ll help you tackle tasks in a way that feels right for you. Over time, you may even discover a new way of seeing these experiences, not as avoidance, but as a powerful drive for autonomy. Use that energy to go after goals that actually matter to you. It’s not about “fixing” yourself, it’s about understanding what you need and thriving on your own terms.
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a neurodivergent experience where individuals face intense emotional responses to perceived or actual rejection, criticism, or failure. This experience can feel overwhelming, manifesting as deep feelings of shame, sadness, anger, and anxiety. Many who live with RSD are often unfairly labeled as “too sensitive” or “too much,” which can make it even harder to express their emotions openly. These reactions happen naturally. They reflect a deep response based on how the brain processes these situations. Validating these experiences can bring relief and help those facing RSD feel more accepted.
What Does Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Feel Like?
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) can feel all-encompassing. As though every fiber of your being is responding to the weight of rejection or criticism, whether it’s real or just perceived. It can bring on an overwhelming mix of sadness, shame, anger, and anxiety, all crashing in at once. Physically, it might feel like a racing heartbeat, trembling hands, a surge of heat, or even the intense urge to cry or yell. These strong emotional and physical responses can feel overwhelming. They may make it hard to respond calmly or thoughtfully.
This cycle can cause issues in relationships and work. It’s harder to handle interactions when emotions are overwhelming. For many, RSD triggers persistent negative self-talk. You might become your harshest critic, doubting your worth or abilities. Confidence and self-esteem may take a hit, while perfectionism becomes a constant pressure, driven by the fear of falling short. The fear of rejection can also create a distance in relationships, as you anxiously wonder how others perceive you. These feelings can be heavy to bear. Still, understanding them is key. It’s the first step to finding support and exploring affirming neurodivergent therapy. This therapy can help you handle the impact RSD has on your life.
How to Cope with RSD
Learning about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) can help you make sense of your emotions and reactions. It’s an important step in understanding how RSD connects to neurodivergence and in letting go of the shame that often comes with it. These feelings aren’t about your worth, they’re tied to how your brain works. And knowing that can be a huge relief. Being aware of the physical symptoms of RSD is equally important. When you notice signs like a racing heart, tension, or strong emotions, pause. Acknowledge how you feel, then try a grounding technique.
Something as simple as taking a few deep breaths can help regulate your emotions and provide clarity before responding. Over time, understanding how your body reacts to RSD can help you handle these moments with more self-compassion. Therapy can be a great place to work on self-advocacy. It’s not just about managing RSD, it’s about learning how to communicate your needs to the people who matter most. When you share your experiences and let others know how to support you, it opens the door to more empathy and stronger connections.
What Does Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy Look Like?
At Brave Minds Psychological Services, neurodiversity-affirming therapy ensures you are fully supported in feeling safe and comfortable expressing all parts of yourself. This means you are welcome to take your shoes off, move your body, or communicate at your own pace. If you need to look out the window or take time to process, that’s okay too. You are always treated with respect as the expert of your own lived experiences, and you hold the power to create your own meaningful goals. Affirming neurodivergent therapy celebrates your unique strengths, special interests, and the aspects of your neurodivergent identity that you love. It ensures that therapy feels empowering rather than restrictive or focused on changing who you are.
We also understand that taking the first step toward therapy can feel overwhelming. Maybe you worry about being misperceived or stigmatized, or the thought of adding one more appointment to your schedule feels like too much. Sometimes even reaching out for that initial call can feel scary or like too much pressure. These are very valid feelings, and we’re here to help. Our therapists can offer strategies to make this process easier, such as involving a trusted support person to help you take that first step. We also offer flexible scheduling options, including both in-person and virtual services, so you can access support in a way that feels manageable and aligned with your needs. Whether you’re newly exploring your neurodivergent identity or have long known that traditional therapy hasn’t met your needs, you deserve a space where you’re fully seen, heard, and affirmed.
Curious About Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy in New Jersey?
At Brave Minds Psychological Services, our goal is to walk alongside you. We strive to support you in embracing your strengths, finding clarity, and building a life that feels aligned and meaningful. If you’re interested in Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy, our trained and caring therapists at our offices in Branchburg and Scotch Plains are ready to support you with inclusive and empowering care. If you’d prefer to meet with a neurodiversity-affirming therapist via video session, we can offer online therapy in New Jersey. To begin counseling, follow a few simple steps:
- Connect with Brave Minds Psychological Services today for a free consultation phone call.
- Get your questions answered by one of our compassionate therapists.
- Begin feeling more understood and supported as you explore your neurodivergent identity.
Other Counseling Services At Brave Minds Psychological Services
At Brave Minds Psychological Services, we offer a wide range of therapy services designed to meet you and your loved ones where you are. Our licensed therapists provide supportive, identity-affirming care to help you move toward greater healing, understanding, and connection. Our services include therapy for children, with specialized support such as anxiety treatment for children and child sexual abuse therapy. We also provide therapy for teens, including anxiety treatment for teens and support for teen social anxiety.
For adults, we offer anxiety counseling, couples counseling, counseling for parents, postpartum counseling, grief and loss counseling, food allergy therapy, and group therapy. We also provide trauma-informed care for specific experiences, including birth trauma, pregnancy loss and miscarriage, and sexual assault counseling for adults.
We also have a blog where we share insight, strategies, and stories around a wide range of mental health topics. If you’re interested in learning more about our services at Brave Minds Psychological Services, please contact our Scotch Plains and Branchburg counseling offices!